Planning for our Marriage

If I had a dollar for every time someone asks me how wedding planning was going, I would have enough cash to pay for the entire event plus a few extra excursions on our honeymoon. I'm kidding, of course, but the sheer amount of times I've been asked this question over the past 15 months has far proceeded the amount of times people have asked how marriage planning is going. Which, surprisingly, has been zero times. During the course of Mr. C and I's engagement, not one person has asked us how we are preparing ourselves for marriage.

Given the current lull in our actual wedding plans, I've had plenty of time to reflect on not only our wedding day that is taking place four short months from now, but the marriage that will proceed it. Of course Mr. C and I have had several discussions about our expectations for our marriage (some that happened long before we were ever engaged) but there is certainly an aspect of "This is really happening!" when your wedding plans come to a halt and the countdown app on your phone says that there's only 130 days until you're Mr. and Mrs. for life. It sinks in more fully that there is a marriage that follows the most planned-out day of your life, and as incredibly obvious as that seems, the planning of the marriage is so often second-rate to the planning of the wedding.

For me, I am much more excited about being Mr. C's wife than I am about being his bride. Yes, I am having a blast planning this wedding. It is so incredibly fun at times, and stress-including at others, with small moments of "LET'S JUST ELOPE" sprinkled into the mix. When budgets and guest lists and timelines just about put me over the edge, the fact that I am going to be Mr. C's wife at the end of the day makes all the stress worth it. It is an important day of our lives, but it is just one day. A day that was not worth going into debt for, a day who's planning I wouldn't let overtake my life, and certainly not a day that I would let overshadow our marriage. Our wedding day is certainly is a big day, but it is not the biggest day. Truth be told, the day I am most looking forward to is the day after the wedding - a day I am sure will be full of so much joy and peace. The morning after the wedding when I wake up as Mr. C's wife. I cannot wait for the planning to be over and for our lives together as a married couple to start.

A bit cheesy, but oh so true. Photo via Fierce Marriage

Planning for our marriage was something we placed as a priority from the very beginning. Above all the wedding day logistics, our relationship as a couple and our marriage mattered more. But how does one plan for a marriage? While there is absolutely no book or class or counseling session that can full prepare us for life as a married couple, we want to make sure we value our marriage before anything else- including the "big day". Before we had one vendor booked, we looked into premarital classes we could take together in the months leading up to the big day. This past fall we enrolled in a three-month-long premarital course held by our church, and while it didn't revolutionize our thinking about marriage, it did made us take a hard look at some not-so-glamorous parts of being married. How to make a budget, who will do the what chores, when will we have children, etc. Super fun topics, I know.

I thought I had known Mr. C inside and out before this class (being with someone for five years allows you to assume that), but I found myself surprised by his answers and responses to each topic during every class. We got to go on fun dates, talk about some serious topics, and truly start to prepare ourselves for this next season of our lives. Since then, we've also had awesome married couples speak into our lives and give us honest, real, sometimes-brutal advice and words of encouragement. We've had our own private discussion about what the rest of our lives together will hold. It's exciting and terrifying, all at the same time. Committing the rest of your life to one person is scary. Pretending we have it all together would be a lie. It's the working through and hashing-out of what currently is and what's to come has been the most rewarding part of all of this.

Probably the best marriage advice I've heard, a la Phil Dunphey//Image via 9Gag

With four months to go until the wedding, I can look toward Mr. C and I's future and be confident of the love and commitment we have for each other and will continue to have toward each other long after the cake is eaten, and the flowers die, and I can't fit into my wedding dress anymore. Marriage is scary, and until you're in one, you can never truly know what to expect. Truth be told, as "prepared" as we feel for our marriage, I know that the reality of it will probably hit us like a sack of potatoes after excitement of the wedding has worn off. Being as young as we are, a lot of people are kind of just expecting our marriage to fail. I don't blame them- the divorce rates are only continuing to rise. Instead of focusing on proving those people wrong, we're focusing on ourselves, and the life we're building together. Committing to love each other more each day (especially on days it's hard to "like" each other) and promising to not let the craziness of life get in between the vows we'll say in just a few short months.

Above all, I cannot wait to be Mr. C's wife. We cannot wait to be married. After all we've been through together over the past five years, we're joyfully looking ahead and looking forward to our lives as husband and wife. Planning a wedding is fun, but planning a marriage has meant so much more.

Showered in Love & Lace

As we quickly approach the 4-month mark, I thought I'd already gotten past the "Oh, gosh...This is actually happening!" stage of wedding planing. Well, this past weekend my bridesmaid Cat and MOH Schmo threw me the most amazing bridal shower, and the whole time I kept thinking, "This is really for me? Because I'm the bride? WHOA."

Because I go to school so far from home, Schmo (who's my college roommate) and Cat (who've I've known since freshman year) really wanted to throw me a bridal shower for my college friends who probably wouldn't have been able to make it to Lancaster for my "real" shower at the end of the summer. When they asked me what kind of party I wanted, I told them to do whatever their little hearts desired, and I made sure they knew that I would be thrilled with whatever they came up with. I wasn't expecting to have two bridal showers, so the fact that they were willing to plan an additional party made me feel like the luckiest bride-to-be.

I figured out pretty quickly that they were planning a lingerie shower when Schmo nonchalantly asked me what my bra and underwear sizes are. Well...she tried to be nonchalant. Bra and underwear sizes aren't exactly everyday conversation in our room, so I was able to catch on to the "theme" of the day pretty fast. Cat and Schmo did an awesome job keeping all the details of the party a mystery until the day of, even when I tried to asked for hints (Hey, a girl's gotta know what to wear!). While I definitely had some ideas of what I thought they might be planning, I was totally blown away by the amount of work they put into everything. I'm pretty sure I said, "Oh my gosh, this is so cute! The cupcakes are cute! OOH, the drinks! These cookies--CUTE!" a hundred times during the course of a couple hours. I was truly amazed by all the little details and, of course, the photographer in me had to bust out my camera to take pictures of it all.

I'm pretty sure Schmo and Cat are two of the craftiest, most creative ladies I've ever met...

These "MR" and "MRS" letters will be making an appearance at the wedding (and let's be real, my future house), since Cat and Schmo tried to find decorations that I could re-use. They found these letters at Michaels and spray-painted them gold to match both the theme of the lingerie party and also my wedding. Seriously, these ladies thought of everything!

I ate way too many thong cookies. #noregrets

These little cupcakes may have been my favorite little detail of the entire party. Every cupcake was adorned with a different paper "set" of undies, and I couldn't get over how stinkin cute these were. They were also funfetti flavored, which everyone knows is the best kind of cupcake there is.

Schmo and Cat planned a few activities for the evening and let me take my throne of bridal honor before the fun began...

Having never been to a lingerie shower before, I honestly had no idea what to expect (other than to be showered with underwear, of course). I would be lying if I said I wasn't at least a bit nervous for what they may have planned, but I was excited to see what they'd been working so hard on. The first "activity" my guests did was decorate a pair of undies for Mr. C and I for our wedding night. Yes. I felt as awkward as one can when their friends are using puffy paint on whitey tighties for my future husband...

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

And of course I had to choose my favorite set...which happened to have a dachshund and a convenient crotch hole. I was embarrassed so many times during the course of a couple hours but man, was it fun.

I opened presents next, which was equal parts hilarious and awkward. Seeing what each of my friends gave me was the most fun part...their personalities really did show through their lingerie of choice! Let's just say I have a vast assortment of pretty little things to get me started as a married woman, and Mr. C is going to be one happy dude.

An easter basket full of pastel thongs. Every girl's dream!

To finish off the evening, Schmo and Cat planned a girly craft--painting stemless wine glasses with glitter nail polish (the epitome of a Pinterest craft!). These doubled as their favors, and each girl got to take home their wine glass and all the nail polish that was inside of it.

I really could not wipe a smile off of my face the entire evening, even if I tried. To think that my best friends put so much time and effort into throwing me this party, and that my friends took time out of their Saturday night to come celebrate with me...my heart was so, so full. While I greatly enjoyed being "the bride", I really didn't want to make the night all about me. More than anything, I loved that I was able to get together with all of my close college girlfriends before we graduate and go our separate ways in a few short weeks. Being able to have such a fun, relaxing evening with them was all that I could have asked for, and this bridal shower far surpassed any expectations I had. I am beyond appreciative for all the work Schmo and Cat put into this party, and I still cannot believe it was for me. Luckiest. Bride. Ever.

Lingerie shower...CHECK! One awesome wedding festivity down, so many more to go!

Did you have a lingerie shower/have you ever been to one?

A Clownfish Honeymoon: We'll Be Cruisin'

If you read my last post, you saw that after much number-crunching and crafting a Pro's and Con's list, Mr. C and I decided on a cruise for our honeymoon. A cruise was perfect for us because it's low-key and pretty much hassle-free once you get on the boat. No connecting flights, no cars to rent, no hotels to reserve...just hop on the boat, stuff your face with food, enjoy all that the cruise ship has to offer, and hop off once you reach your port destinations. Like I said, not too much excitement and adventure, but we both wanted our honeymoon to be as chill and stress-free as possible. A cruise was perfect for what we wanted and it fit our small-ish honeymoon budget, which was the most important aspect for us when planning.

After we decided to go on a cruise, I started researching various cruise lines and itineraries. Since I had cruised once before, I knew what to look for when it came to the overall style and layout of the ship, and also what to avoid. When I cruised back in 2010, it had been a short 3-day trip out of Port Canaveral in Florida to Nassau, Bahamas. We cruised on an older ship (built and clearly decorated in the 90's) with outdated furnishings and decor, so I knew I wanted to try and cruise on a newer, more updated ship. My family and I had also stayed in a room with a small porthole, and I seriously enjoyed those staying in rooms with decks (mostly 'cause I loved the idea of sitting out there and drinking my morning coffee). I told myself that the next time I cruised I would stay in a room with a deck, so another "would-like-to-have" was added to Mr. C and I's list.

We really wanted to depart on our honeymoon the day after our wedding, so I looked up all cruises (via CruiseCritic) leaving on that day. Luckily, we found a cruise that perfectly fit what Mr. C and I were looking for, on a newer ship that was headed on a 7-day trip to the Bahamas. The very best part of this cruise (at least in my book) is that the ship is departing from Baltimore, MD, which is only about an hour and a half drive from where we live and will be having our wedding. No flights to catch, no rental cars, and a lot less post-wedding hassle. A major, major plus for both of us. We also looked up tons of reviews of both the cruise ship itself and also the itinerary.

After seeing that there were many, many more good reviews than less-than-stellar reviews, we decided to go for it and book ourselves a honeymoon....over a year before our wedding. By booking early, we were able to go in and select the exact room we wanted (we sprung for a room with a balcony!), and were able also able to select the "your-time" dining option so we can eat dinner whenever we want, as opposed to being forced into eating at the exact same time every day. Hey, what can I say, it's the small things that excite me.

Image via CruiseWeb

Mr. C and I will be cruising aboard the Carnival Pride, a newer ship with a Renaissance-ish flair. Because I always love to know what the inside of cruise ships look like (Anyone else watch cruise ship documentaries? No? Just me? Okay, then...), I did my fair share of Googling and found some pretty sweet pictures that got me excited about our trip...

This ship's decor is most definitely geared toward adults..hello naked people paintings! Image via MotorKid

Image via SmartCruiser

Image via CruiseDirect

In the time since we've booked our honeymoon, the ship has undergone some pretty awesome upgrades. New restaurants (a mexican cantina and tequila bar, hello!), as well as some new shops and overall upgrades to entertainment and decor.

Our cruise will start off in Baltimore and will then spend two days out at seas (giving Mr. C and I plenty of time to explore the ship, lay out and tan, eat massive amounts of food, and overall just unwind from the craziness of the wedding weekend) before arriving in Port Canaveral, Florida. We were pretty psyched that our ship is stopping in Florida for a day, and we have lots of awesome excursions to choose from once we dock. At the moment we're still deciding between Universal Studios, Disney World...or an alligator park with an airboat ride. The environmental lover in Mr. C is pulling for the alligator park, so I think we may end up going that route!

After spending a day in Florida, our ship will once again spend a day at sea and will arrive next in Nassau, Bahamas. Although I've been to Bahamas before, I am so excited to be going back! Before it was as a teen, now it will be with my husband! And will be infinitely better, I know it. Mr. C has never been on beaches with clear water, so he's excited to do some water activities. Our one "big" excursion we plan on doing in the Bahamas is an up-close encounter with dolphins. Definitely a first for both of us, and what may be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to hang out with one of the coolest animals.

After spending the day in Nassau, we'll return to the ship and dock the next day in Freeport, Bahamas. We plan on booking an "all you can eat/drink private beach trip", which sounds exactly my speed. When I asked Mr. C what he wanted to do on the last leg of the trip, he told me "Relax on the beach with a beer in my hand". Okay then, babe, a beach and some beer it will be! Our last day will be spend out at sea returning to Baltimore

At this point in planning, both of us are looking forward to our honeymoon just slightly less than the actual wedding. A relaxing week on a cruise sounds so awesome right now amidst all the craziness of planning a wedding, and we are so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to just escape real life for a week as husband and wife. And of course, I plan on doing full reviews and giving the deets on everything (food/drinks, entertainment, excursions) so that future honeymooners know whether a cruise is a good fit for them.

Did any bees go on a honeymoon cruise to the Bahamas? Any helpful tips for Mr. C and I?

A Clownfish Honeymoon: Part I

Our honeymoon will be Mr. C and I's first ever solo vacation together and man, are we excited. Long before we ever got engaged, we would talk about our dream honeymoon and all the places we wanted to explore together as a married couple. The locations at the very top of our list were Ireland, England, and Spain...so much to see and explore, and who better to do it with than your brand spankin' new spouse? Of course, our hopes of visiting these dream destinations on our honeymoon were squashed when we decided to get married fresh 'outta college and realized our honeymoon budget is a *litte* too small to visit all of the foreign locations we had our hearts set on.

"Under the boardwalk...down by the seaaaa!" (personal photo)

Not one to let a small budget get us down, Mr. C and I set out to see what kind of honeymoon we could get without having to take a loan out or put it all on credit cards. Staying debt free (aside from school loans, of course) is really important to us, so we knew that whatever honeymoon we decided to take, it needed to be paid for with cash. Since we had a longer honeymoon (19 months) we decided to start saving up for our honeymoon right away, and vowed not to touch that money unless an emergency came up. Our goal was to have $2000 saved up for our honeymoon, and set that number as our budget. While this may seem like only enough cash to have a "minimoon" on to some couples, it was the number we both felt comfortable with. Even though it may seem like a small amount to spend on a honeymoon (I, for one, think $2000 is a lot of money, but I digress), we were both confident that we could plan an awesome honeymoon on two grand.

Because Mr. C has never been out of the country, we set our eyes on a honeymoon that would allow us to get out of the continental US. While a longer honeymoon would be ideal (don't all couples dream of this?), neither of us could afford to take 2 full weeks off of work right after the wedding. Even though we'd be incredibly appreciative for any length of a honeymoon, we knew we wanted to at least try and spring for a week-long trip.

Family beach trip, circa 2012 (personal photo)

With all of these factors considered (including our budget), the idea of going on a cruise for our honeymoon sounded like it may be our best option. Okay, I know what you're thinking...a cruise?? For a honeymoon? With all those people? And no privacy?! After weighing the pros and cons of doing a honeymoon cruise, the pros (inexpensive,  possibility of a week-long trip, all-inclusive, lots of food [double pro in my book], clear water in a tropical location, etc.) far outweighed the cons. Definitely not the most lavish or luxurious honeymoon but hey, we're fortunate to be going on any kind of post-wedding trip, and I'll have my brand new husband by my side. Nothing more I needed!

Bahamas cruise circa 2010 (personal photo) 

Mr. C is a cruise virgin, while I've been on exactly one cruise, and that was several years ago. The thought of boarding a huge boat immediately brought visions of the Titanic to Mr. C's mind, but I quickly calmed his fears and reassured him that a cruise ship disaster such as the Titanic in incredibly unlikely. I also mentioned to him that if we did happen to go down like Jack and Rose, I'd happily share my door with him so that we could both survive. Such a sweet new wife, right?

(personal photo)

After he got over his initial cruise ship apprehension Mr. C happily handed over honeymoon cruise planning duties to me, and I got to work doing research on possible cruise ship lines and destinations, and boy, were there a lot of options.

How did you decide on what type of honeymoon to take (road trip vs. cruise vs. resort vs. everything else)?