With Us In Spirit

Four years ago today, I lost my mom. The most beautiful, kind-hearted, compassionate woman I had ever known. Four years ago today, I lost my very best friend. My secret keeper, my comforter, my cheerleader. Four years ago today, my life was changed forever.

My mother's death was incredibly sudden, and came just two months before my high school graduation. A little over a month before my senior prom. Several months before I was to go off to college. Such major life events, and her absence was present in a way that tore right through me. Her sudden passing turned my relatively normal 18-year-old life and shook it to it's core. My very worst nightmare had come true and was playing out right in front of my eyes, and I felt so, so small and powerless to stop it.

Mr. C and I had been dating for a little over a year when my mom passed away. Although he was at college five hours away, as soon as he heard, he came home to be with me and didn't leave my side. I soaked his shirt with tears and he held me close and cried with me as I sobbed for hours, until I couldn't breath. He stayed with me and held my hand as we made the plans that no one ever wants to make, and kept me sane when all I wanted to do was scream in grief. He had seen a different side of me, an ugly, angry side that only grief and depression can bring out...and he stayed. When it was difficult to love me (and I couldn't even love myself)...he stayed. When I lashed out on him and I felt like I couldn't get a handle on life...he stayed. Through the darkest period in my life...he stayed. And he's stayed by my side ever since.

As a result of her passing, our high school relationship grew up very quickly. What had been a fun, casual relationship between two teenagers had suddenly become very serious. Through incredible loss and sorrow, we grew up, and grew into different people. We truly learned what real love was, and we learned that we couldn't live without each other. Our "I love you's", said naively after 3 months of dating, took on a drastically different meaning. Life had thrown an astounding obstacle in our way, and instead of going our separate ways when it got hard, we clung to each other and vowed to never let go. My mom's passing could have very easily ended our relationship, but I truly believe it made it stronger. No matter what, we promised to be there for each other. His staying by my side showed me more than words could ever say, and every day I am so grateful for his never ending support and love during the most difficult time in my life.

While I've had four years now to fully process my mom's death, the planning of our wedding has brought on emotions I never fully dealt with until Mr. C put a ring on my finger. Right after her passing, I had a flood of "future" thoughts, and imagined all that she would miss...my college graduation, my wedding, the birth of my children. Because the thought of her missing those incredible life events made my heart ache in an indescribable way, I pushed those "future" thoughts to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with them. As soon as Mr. C and I got engaged and began planning our wedding, I had to come face-to-face with the fact that my mom will not be physically present on the biggest day of our lives. A reality I wanted to dismiss forever was right in front of me, and I couldn't avoid it any longer. A day that was supposed to be full of so much joy was one that I couldn't even bear to think about without memories of my momma flooding into my mind.

Although Mr. C never got the chance to tell my mom about his plan to propose to me, I am forever comforted by the memories I have of Mr. C (jokingly) asking my mom for my hand in marriage just months before she passed away. It seemed as if every time they were together, Mr. C would ask her, "Momma Clownfish, can I marry your daughter?" to which my mom would laugh and say, "Sure, Mr. C. You can marry my daughter!". Even though him asking my mom was a silly, non-serious question at the time, I love knowing that in a way, he had her blessing. I know without a doubt she would be thrilled for us, and for our future together.

Knowing how excited she would have been to help me plan this wedding has been the hardest thing to handle. Going wedding dress shopping without her was the first of many planning experiences I had to confront, and I felt her with me the entire time. Never in a million years did I imagine going wedding dress shopping without my mom, but I knew she was with me in spirit as I found "the one", and I cried knowing she won't be the one lacing up my dress or pinning my veil in my hair on my wedding day. There have been many hard days while planning my wedding, but there's been more happy days. For this, I am so thankful. My mom is giving my the strength to do this without her, even though it feels impossible at times.

So many things she's missed, but I know in my heart she's still here with me, and I know she will be with me on my wedding day, too. I've had so much awesome support through out this planning process, and I am so thankful for friends and family that "get" my sadness and don't discourage me from feeling her loss. I know my mom is looking down on Mr. C and I is so proud of not only the wedding we're planning, but the marriage we are preparing for. More than anything, I want to make her proud of the woman I'm becoming.

I knew from the very beginning of planning that I wanted to honor my mom on our wedding day. How, I wasn't sure of, but I knew I wanted to do something in her memory. While planning, I came upon several different ways I could honor my mom, but I didn't feel an incredibly strong draw to any of them until I saw this picture...

Image Via Style Me Pretty / Photo by Apertura Photo

I knew that having a framed photo of my mom waiting for me at the end of the aisle, in the seat that would have been reserved for her, would be the perfect way to physically include her on my wedding day. While I may end up bawling my eyes out when I see her chair (a very real possibility on the day I'm chock-full of emotions, anyway), I'm willing to risk it to be able to honor her in this way. I also plan on keeping her close to me the entire day by putting a charm with her picture on it on my bouquet. A small gesture, but one that will mean so much to me.

I'm sure that I will think of many, many more ways to include my momma in my wedding day, but for now, I have peace knowing that she's really not missing anything. Her physical presence, especially her great hugs and endless encouragement, are so missed, but she lives on in the lives of my sisters and I and the countless people people she touched during her time on Earth. Honoring her on my wedding day and remembering her incredible life was something I never questioned, and I know in my heart she is looking down and smiling as Mr. C and I as we plan this wedding. I also know that if she was here, she'd tell me to stop taking the planning so seriously, and just enjoy the process. So that's exactly what I decided to do. For you, momma. For you.

Bridal Beauty Inspiration

As a girl that wears makeup everyday and flat-irons her hair into submission every morning, I knew I wanted to step up my beauty game on my wedding day. Although I can spend hours in a Sephora and consider myself a semi-skilled with make-up application, I know there was no way I could DIY my own wedding makeup. Besides the stress of having to do it myself on the morning of, I knew better than to try and force myself to learn the technique of the perfect smoky eye. Some things are better left to the professionals.

I also knew that while I certainly could DIY my own bridal hairstyle, what if I woke up on the morning of my wedding and suddenly forgot the perfect curling technique? What if my curling iron broke? What if I burned my forehead and had to cover up a huge burn mark ON MY WEDDING DAY? (Yes, I started to think of all the things that could go wrong). Again...I decided to let the professionals handle that area of primping, too.

When I finally settled on the how of my bridal look, I still had yet to decide on the what. As in, what hairstyle will complement not only my dress and accessories, but my face shape? And what makeup look screams "bride" without whispering "baby hooker?"

I knew I wanted my hair at least somewhat down. In the past, when my hair is completely up, I haven't felt pretty and almost somewhat dude-like. While I absolutely adore up-do's on other brides, I knew I didn't have the face-shape (or the confidence) to pull it off. But with my hair all-down, would that look too casual? Not different enough from what I look like every day?

After stalking wedding blogs and Pinterest for a few months (and bookmarking every hairstyle I thought could be a winner) I finally came upon the most perfect, lovely hairstyle I could have ever imagined. Loose curls, hair pulled back to one side, worked with a veil, and a sparkly accessory to boot. It was hair love at first sight...

Image via Style Me Pretty / Photo by Joey Kennedy Photography

Image via Style Me Pretty / Photo by Joey Kennedy Photography

I could totally picture this hairstyle with my wedding dress (and it would work with both "looks"...crop-top and belt) and I would certainly feel like a more glammed-up, bridal version of myself with this hairstyle. Upon seeing the pretty flower hairpin she has in her hair, I wanted to do something similar, albeit a more toned-down. To see if I could find a pretty hair clip on the cheap, I ventured out to my local Charming Charlies and luckily happened upon this beauty for $12 (I snagged these earrings for $8, too)...

In the way of wedding make-up, I knew I wanted a smokey eye in a neutral color and a pretty nude-is pink lip. I have pretty strong brows, greenish-blue eyes, and a face full of freckles that I love and don't want to cover-up (even on my wedding day). Even though I want to look like a bride on my wedding day, I still want to look, and feel, like myself. Just a bit more glamorous and dolled-up.

Image via FashionTwists.com

Image via Trends-Style.com

Because I'm a visual person and I really need want to see everything together before the big day, I plan on having my hair and makeup trials at the beginning of the summer. If there's any kinks that need worked out, I'll have plenty of time to schedule another trial in the month or two before the wedding. And of course, I'll share the trial-run results, good or bad. Pinky promise.

How long did it take you to find the perfect bridal hair and makeup inspiration? How far out from your wedding did you schedule your trials?

Badda Bling, Badda Boom (And a Crop-Top, Too)

When I first tried on my wedding dress, I knew it was fate. From lusting over it online, to first trying it on in the bridal store, and then finding my own for $300, I was falling even more and more in love with the mermaid tulle gorgeousness that was the Mori Lee 5108. I loved it's simplicity (I was concerned about the dress "wearing me" than me wearing the dress) and I loved how the dress made me feel. Not only did I feel like a gorgeous bride in my dress, I felt like a confident and beautiful young woman wearing the prettiest dress I've ever owned.

Except, I kinda felt like there was something missing.

I knew for sure that I wanted to wear a belt with my dress, although not one as dark or sparkly as the belt I tried on when I went to the bridal shop. I also knew that I would love to wear a veil, but I knew absolutely nothing about veils, other than they come in 100 different shades of white and they should be made out of gold tulle based on how much they cost.

Since I'm all about saving money when I can, I searched high and low for a bridal consignment shop in my hometown. After spending some time Googling, I was so excited to find one that had awesome reviews and promised a wide selection of veils, belts, and other bridal accessories. Since their inventory is mostly consigned (with the exception of some veils that are always in stock and can be ordered anytime) what they have is obviously limited to what past-brides bring in and what other dress shops sell them. While I was excited to have found a bridal consignment shop, I didn't want to get my hopes up in case I went and I didn't find anything I liked.

Last July, with a year and a couple months left to go until the wedding, I planned a trip into the consignment shop. I wanted to go with enough time left that if I didn't find anything there, I'd still have plenty of time to explore other options. My step-mom wanted to come along for the fun, so with my wedding dress in tow, we made our way to the shop to hopefully find my veil and bridal belt!

The shop was packed with racks and racks of wedding gowns (which were semi-tempting to look through, even thought I had the dress-of-my-dreams in my arms) and an entire room filled with bridal accessories. I was in bridal consignment heaven. There were angels singing. Or it may have been my wallet, knowing how much money we were about to save.

Since it was early in the day and there was only one other bride-to-be pursuing the shop, I was told to change into my dress and come to the main sales floor, where a sales consultant would help me find what I was looking for. I explained what I was thinking in terms of a belt, and explained that I wanted a simple, single-layer veil, but that I was unsure of length and color. After checking me out in my dress (and suggesting I get some chicken cutlets sewn in), she presented me with no less than a dozen belts of all colors and degrees of sparkle, and started pulling out veil after veil.

After going through dozens of different combinations of belt + veil, I finally settled on the following combination...a simple satin belt with bling in the middle (that snaps in the back) and a simple crystal-edged veil in a waist-length. Not the most daring and certainly not the most unique bridal look, I know, but I liked how the belt added a little more drama to the dress and I loved the simplicity of the veil.

I was able to score the belt used for $50 (originally over $100) and the veil brand-new for $100. I budgeted about $250 for bridal accessories, so I was thankful to still had some cash leftover to put toward my jewelry and any other accessories I felt I needed to complete the look.

In hindsight, I probably should have done a little more to hair than just throw it in a ponytail.

As I was about to get out of my dress and pay for my awesome finds, a little something sparkly caught my eye as another consultant was looking through their new inventory. It was a sparkly lace crop top, and it was gorgeous.

Yes...a crop top.

Before a scantily clad bridal Miley Cyrus comes to mind, I'll show you the gorgeousness that is the crop-top bolero. Over my figure-hugging Mori Lee, it added a little sophistication and elegance and I knew I had to have it. But...I already had a belt...wedding gods, what are you doing to me?!

The crop-top is a bit more sheer than this picture shows.

Hand-beaded crop-tops are way heavier than one would think. 

I absolutely loved how I looked and felt in my dress with the addition of the bridal crop-top, so I had to decide what to do. Ditch the belt, and just wear the crop-top? Ix-nay the crop-top, and keep the belt? Or, I could have the best of both worlds and wear them both. So, that's exactly what I decided to do!

I'll be wearing the beaded crop-top and veil for the ceremony (and first look pictures and some bridal party pictures) and then taking it off after the ceremony and putting on the belt. As much as I luuurve the sparkle and drama of the crop-top, it's a bit heavy (and a little bit itchy, but that's the price to pay for a one-of-a-kind look) it's not really cut out for dancing and boogying the night away on the dance-floor. By doing it this way, I'll have two different bridal looks without paying for two completely different dresses.

The crop-top was originally sold with a David Tutera dress, and was literally priceless (as in, it had never been sold separately from the dress) so the shop had to call the bridal shop that it had come from to see what a fair price would be to sell it for. I ended up getting the crop-top for $125, which I consider a steal for being able to have a truly one-of-a-kind, unique look on my wedding day.

While I never thought I'd walk out of that bridal consignment shop with a sparkly beaded crop-top bolero, I can't imagine my dress without it now. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I love it, and I love how it makes me feel. Gorgeous, elegant, but still a bit quirky and unique. Like a bride...Mr. C's bride.

Did you wear a bridal accessory you never thought you would? Did you have 2 unique wedding looks?

Dressing The 'Maids: Things Don't Go As Planned

If you read Part I of the bridesmaid dress saga, you found out that the goal for bridesmaids dresses was mismatched, knee-length, and navy blue. Preferably all the same fabric (lace and/or chiffon), but in various styles to match each girls taste and body shape. Since I was trying to be conscious of each ladies' budget, I decided to start our search at both Davids Bridal. As stunning as some of the designer bridesmaids dresses are at the smaller boutiques, I couldn't imagine asking my bridesmaids to pay $250+ for their dress. Plus, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Davids Bridal has been expanding their lace bridesmaid line to include lots of different options, perfect for mixing and matching.

So, off to Davids we went!

The first trip I made was with my older sister and MOH, Smiley, over my Christmas break from school. She could honestly rock any dress but she felt the most comfortable and beautiful in this lace strapless dress in Marine (David's Bridal's version of navy). Dress #1...Check! Off to find dresses for my other lovely ladies.

The next trip to David's was with co-MOH, Schmo, my bridesmaid Giggles and my junior-bridesmaid (and little sister). Each girl took turns trying on various lace dresses, and many a dress was thrown between the dressing rooms every time the girls yelled, "Switch!". When they had their dresses on, the girls would come out and we'd all proceed to "ooh!" and "aah!" over how freakin' beautiful they all looked in their picks. 

Little sis Lou chose this beautiful one-shouldered lace and chiffon dress, which looks like it was made for her. I wanted to make sure she was in an age-appropriate, yet still stylish and sweet dress that was cohesive with the rest of the ladies. The lace at the top of her dress matches the lace on the rest of the dresses, while the bottom of the dress is more unique. Dress #2...Check!

I mean, how stinkin' adorable is she?

Both Giggles and Schmo in the lace dress with the v-neck and straps. I could tell right away from their smiles and their mirror-selfies that they really, really both loved this dress. And I also really loved this dress on both of them. They have different body shapes, but the dress looked equally awesome on both of them. How was I going to tell one of them that they couldn't wear the dress, and had to choose another? I couldn't. 

Well, then crap. There goes the mismatched plan. 

When I saw how beautiful and happy both of them looked in this dress, I knew I had to make a decision about what to do about the mismatched thing. Since I was more attached to the idea of my bridesmaids being comfortable and loving their dresses than a "wedding vision", I decided to let go of the idea of all mismatched dressed and told Giggles and Schmo they could both choose the v-neck lace dress. Dress #3 & #4...Check!

The only lady left to find her dress was Cat, so we planned our trip to David's when I got back from my Christmas break. Finding the perfect dress for her was a bit of challenge, since she is tiiiiny. Super petite and tiny in every way. Since I was no longer stuck on the idea of all mis-matched dressed, she tried on every lace dress in the collection (including the strapless dress Smiley chose and the v-neck dresses the other girl's chose) and ended up loving the same dress as Giggles and Schmo. Definitely not part of the "plan", but I loved that she found a dress that's perfect for her and that she'll feel beautiful and comfortable in. Dress #5...Check!

To get an idea of what all three different dresses would look like together, during our second bridesmaids trip, I had Giggles try on MOH Smiley's dress while the other two girls stayed in their chosen dresses. I loved how all of the dresses looked together and realized that even if three of my bridesmaids are in the same dress (the one on the left) it will still look cohesive yet slightly mis-matched. 

Gotta love the socks, ladies!

Ultimately, I learned a valuable lesson in wedding planning during this entire process. When things don't go exactly as planned, and the issue isn't truly life or death...just let it go. It's so easy to hold such a tight grip on our wedding plans, especially when it's our "wedding vision". While I would have loved to have all of my ladies in completely different dresses, I couldn't argue with what they loved and felt beautiful in, and I ultimately cared more about what my girl's thought than my own vision for their look. After all, they're the ones buying and wearing their dresses, and the issue wasn't worth getting all bridezilla over.

I have no doubt that they will all look stunning in their dresses and I can't wait to see the entire look come together on the wedding day!

Did you plan a specific bridesmaids dress look that didn't exactly work out?

Dressing the 'Maids: Mismatched Inspiration

Having seen many a beautiful bridal party during my vast search for wedding inspiration, I knew from the start I wanted to aim for mismatched bridesmaids dresses. What could be more perfect than bridesmaids in gowns that fit their body shape, fit their budget, and coordinated in the most wonderful mismatched way? 

After I decided on the color palette in the early stages of wedding planning, I started to think about what color and style of dresses I wanted for my best ladies. Looking to my color palette for inspiration, I was immediately drawn to the idea of navy dresses, although blush pink and slate grey were still in the running. To get my 'maids input, I sent out a group text asking for their dress color preference, and all four ladies unanimously answered navy. Score! Naturally, I stalked Pinterest for some yummy mismatched navy bridesmaids dress goodness. 

Image by Brushfire Photography

Image via Style Me Pretty / Image by Michael Radford Photography

Image via Style Me Pretty / Image By Ashley Hoskins Photography

The next step was finding out what style each of my bridesmaids was drawn to, and what kind of price point they felt comfortable sticking to. While I know that these ladies would buy any dress at any price if they knew it's what I wanted and envisioned, I also wanted to make sure they also loved their dress and felt comfortable with the price. There's nothing worse than dropping hundreds of dollars on a dress you'll wear for 8 hours and then never wear again. The dress racks of Goodwill tell no lies.

I also had to figure out just how mismatched I wanted the dresses to be. Same exact fabric for each dress, but different styles? Completely different dresses with completely different fabrics? TOO MANY DECISIONS. After looking at tons of mismatched dress inspiration photos, the look I liked the most was same fabric in different styles. Making this choice also eliminated the "free for all" aspect of choosing the dresses and provided more guidance, which my girls appreciated. 

I told them to go ahead and start looking for dress styles they liked, and to start blowing up my phone with any and all of the dresses they felt particularly drawn to. After each 'maid showed me their "ideal" dresses, I saw that they had several similarities...strapless, knee length, and a chiffon or lace material. Again...score! This was shaping up to be way easier than I imagined.

Next...we shop! And things don't go exactly as planned...

A Registry Re-Do: Learn From My Mistakes

Although Mr. C and I's first registering experience was a bit of a disaster, we learned some valuable registry info during those few hours spent fumbling around Target's home section. Since I'm all about learning from past mistakes (not making a solid game-plan prior to our Target trip was mistake #1), we took what we learned during our first trip and applied it to the rest of our registry-making. Since I'm also all about being transparent for the sake of helping other brides who have yet to experience the fun/hellish experience that is registering, I'm sharing the mistakes we made and how we were able to fix them by first learning the hard way what not to do.

I am in no way a wedding registry prodigy, nor did Mr. C and I do everything right when it came to building our list registries. HA. If only! I'm sharing our experience with registering to shed some reality on the whole thing and hopefully give a few helpful tips + tricks to use when it comes time to put your registry knowledge into action. Without further ado...

Mistake #1: Failing to Make a Plan

It's almost embarrassing to admit Mr. C and I's first trip to Target was sans any sort of list/checklist of what we needed as a married couple about to start building a life together. We scanned things only as we came upon them in their respective aisles, which lead to us forgetting some of the "essentials" (How could we forget the toaster?!) and including some of the more obscure "desired" items (I'm lookin' at you, wok!).

Tip #1: Be Prepared with a Customized Checklist

While I love that the internet is full of generic "Wedding Registry Checklists" that can be incredibly helpful for the couple that has no idea of what they'll need to fully stock their home, they can also be incredibly overwhelming and full of items that are not really needed, and don't really make sense to the couple's life together. The Knot may suggest that I need crystal drink wear, but I know that if Mr. C and I were to actually get formal dinner wear, it would just collect dust on our shelves and take up precious room in our cabinets. Before going out and completing our registry, we sat down with multiple different wedding registry must-have lists and used these generic lists to make our own checklist. This way, when we got to the store we didn't have to spend time assessing whether we actually needed that item (this probably saved a lot more time than we realized - hallelujah!) and were able to start searching and hunting for that item to check-off our own customized registry checklist. Your checklist can be on your phone, or a printed out version, but I definitely recommend separating each item by category and/or room in which it will be used. Since I'm semi-OCD I printed our list out, complete with little boxes I could check-off after each item was added to the registry.

Image via Troll Meme Generator

Mistake #2: Registering for the Popular Items We Didn't Really NEED

I was convinced by friends, wedding magazines, and online wedding blogs that I absolutely, 100% could not live without a KitchenAid stand mixer. If I didn't register for it, my cooking skills and performance in the kitchen would surely suffer as a result. Well, I took the advice of the wedding experts and registered for one during our first registry experience. It was big and beautiful in all it's bright-red glory, and even though I was a little sticker-shocked by how much it was, I reluctantly scanned it and continued with Mr. C to find our next much-needed, big-ticket item. I didn't think much about it until I returned to our registry a few weeks later and realized that it was by far the most expensive item on our registry and the item we probably needed the least. Without any further thought, I removed it from our registry (I can hear the sounds of hearts breaking all across kitchen's across America).

Tip #2: If You Don't Need it, Don't Scan it

While I would love to own my very own KitchenAid stand mixer one day, it's not a priority on the list of things Mr. C and I need right now. At this very moment, we need the basics. We need a microwave, and a toaster, and a good quality set of pots and pans. Once we're well established in the way of kitchen gadgets and gizmo's a plenty (please tell me you sung that in Ariel's voice), and I learn how to be a domestic housewife, I'll consider adding a high-quality stand mixer to the mix. Which leads me to tip #2...if you don't need it (/don't have room for it/it doesn't make sense to your lifestyle), don't scan it. Even if The Knot and BB&B and Target tell you that YOU NEED IT or else your life as a newlywed will suck, don't register for it. I'm obviously talking about the items that you see on the generic lists I mentioned above and think, "Huh?? I really need that?", not the items you really cannot live without (towels, flatware sets, dinnerware). If you're not 100% sure on whether or not to register for something, scan it knowing that you can always make changes to your registry lists on the store's website if you decide you don't need it anymore. Also, including gift cards on your registries is always a good idea.

Mistake #3: Not Soliciting Advice from Married Couples

We took some time to poll a few of our married friends on what they wish they knew before they registered, but we realized that we never flat-out asked them for their list of items they regretted registering for or wished they had. In the middle of our first registry experience I realized that I had completely forgotten to get this info, and wondered the whole time we were registering if we had forgotten any of the "must-haves" according to our friends and family.

Tip #3: Use the Knowledge of Those that Have Gone Before You

Prior to venturing out a second time, we ended up asking a large number of our married friends and family to fill us in, and boy, did they ever! Per their advice, we ditched the idea of owning an ice-bucket and tongs (seriously, these are on every wedding registry checklist I found) and decided to add a vacuum cleaner. Other suggestions we got were to add a couple inexpensive board games for the weddings guests who'll want to get you something "fun" off of your registry, as well as some power-tools and needed-but-not-fun items, like a laundry hamper. While every couple is different and "needs" different things, it's a great idea to ask already married people their input on wedding registries. This may seem incredibly obvious, but I know a lot of engaged couples that consult only the generic wedding registry lists and not married couples that actually know from experience what's needed and what's not. The easiest way to poll the largest amount of married people at once is, you guessed it, Facebook! Post a status asking about wedding registry must-haves and regrets and you'll not doubt get lots of answer from those that want to help you out and make the process easier for you. Sharing is caring, even if it's through social media.

Mistake #4: Not Registering for A Wide Variety of Gifts at Various Price Points

Since we failed to go in without any plan whatsoever, Mr. C and I ended up registering for things as we came upon them, which meant that a lot of our items ending up being around the same price range (over or around $50).

Tip #4: Include a Variety of Gifts to Fit Every Price Point

What I didn't know was that there's an actual way for bride-to-be's to figure out how many gifts should fall within each price range. I found the below chart after Mr. C and I's first registering trip and it has helped immensely when building the rest of our registry. We made sure to register for lots of "smaller" items while making sure some more expensive gifts made it on the registry as well. I liked using this chart because I was able to tailor it to my own guest list and the number of guests invited. I also recommend registering for more than you think you'll need. Many stores, including Bed Bath & Beyond, having registry completion programs that allow you to get a discount on all the items that weren't purchased - score!

Chart via Bridal Guide

Thankfully, completing our registries was less of a headache after we figured out the easiest and most effective way to do it. Even though it was a frustrating experience at times, it was humbling to stop and realize that the items we're registering for were going to be purchased by our incredibly generous wedding guests who want to help Mr. C and I start our lives together. That in itself made all the stress and frustration worth it. 

Any other registry tips + tricks that you learned along the way? 

"Be My Bridesmaid?"

Just to get this off my chest...I do not believe that BM is a suitable acronym for the lovely ladies who will be by my side on the most wonderful day of my life. I've giggled one to many times at bride-to-be's that casually use this acronym to describe their bridesmaids without actually realizing what this acronym usually stands for. So I will be using BBM (which in my world stands for "Best Bridesmaid) in place of BM. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just ignore this last paragraph and proceed on.

the ultimate bridesmaids, let's be honest. GIF via Photobucket

When it came for Mr. C and I to choose our wedding parties, I honestly struggled with who to include. I put off this part of wedding planning until almost a year after M and I got engaged, with the exception of my two maid-of-honors. Before we got engaged I always imagined my bridal party including up to 7 or 8 of my closest friends and family. The more the merrier, right? Well not according to past brides who warn that more ladies in your bridal party can lead to more drama than it's worth. I also realized that in order to include everyone I wanted to be in my party, the grand total would be 10 girls. Not happening when my entire wedding will only be made up of 100 guests.

I decided to trim the BBMs down to 4, not including my automatic junior bridesmaid, my little sister. I knew that not asking some of my closest friends would hurt their feelings (and I am the biggest people-pleaser I know) but in my heart I was confident that a smaller bridal party was the best solution. Also, in all honesty, I am sure some of my close friends are glad to be attending the wedding strictly as guests. No extra work, just show up and party!

When it came time to actually ask them, I didn't feel the need to make some big elaborate gift or show out of it. I've seen the awesome bridesmaid boxes on Pinterest, filled to the brim with gifts,  along with the ring pop proposal, etc. While these are super thoughtful and sweet, I knew that the girls I was going to ask would want to be in my party regardless of how I asked. They certainly weren't expecting an elaborate "proposal" from me, so I decided to keep it simple and ask them with a silly, quirky card I designed myself, inspired by cards I had seen on Etsy and Pinterest...

MOH Smiley (older sister) and MOH Schmels looking excited with their cards!

Front says: "They say I'll need someone to hold up my dress when I have to pee"

Inside says: "______, Will you be my (fill in role here)?"

I gave them their cards in person either over coffee or (in my older sister's case) when she saw me in my wedding dress for the first time. All the girls got such a kick out of these silly little cards and wholeheartedly said, "YES!" I designed them through Photoshop and printed them out using own printer, after many failed attempts at figuring out how to turn the dang paper so that it actually read like a card. 

Because I went to simple (read: inexpensive and easy) with my bridesmaids proposals, I plan on giving all of my ladies pretty awesome gifts to use and wear on the wedding day, gifts that they can use again after our wedding day is long gone. Coming to the blog soon!

In total, I have 2 maid-of-honors (MOH Smiley, my older sister and MOH Schmels, my best friend since 9th grade), 2 bridesmaids (BBM Meow, who's a college friend, and BBM Giggles, my cousin), and a junior bridesmaid (my little sister, JBM Lou). The decision to keep the bridal party on the smaller side was not an easy decision to make, but I could not be more excited to have these wonderful women in my life to stand up beside me on the day I marry Mr. C. 

Did you have a hard time deciding on your bridal party? How did you "propose" to them?

The Registry Games

Ah, registering for wedding gifts. What could possibly be more than going to your favorite store with your soon-to-be-spouse, carrying a badass-looking laser gun, and picking out stuff for your soon-to-be-dwelling?

Well...a lot of things, it turned out. Registering for our wedding gifts was one of those "Wedding To-Do's" that I just couldn't wait to cross off the list. Like all those that have gone before me, I was excited to shop for our future house. The thought of choosing our very own blender, microwave, coffeemaker, and crockpot seemed like the mostfunthingever. I also may have been way too excited to use the scanner. #noshame

Since Mr. C and I are still undergrad college students, we don't have a collection of household items of which to combine once we get married. That basically means we need to start building our kitchen and household collection from the ground up. In theory, it sounds awesome. In reality...it's a bit overwhelming.

Before beginning the process of registering, we checked in with friends and family members that have gone before us. More than anything we wanted experienced register-ers (it's not a word, just go with it) to give us the honest low-down on what we need, what we don't need, and what's good to include just in case. I also hit up my good friend Google and asked him such pertinent questions as "best place to register wedding" and "must haves wedding registry". Deciding where to register wasn't a hard decision - Target and Bed Bath & Beyond were obvious choices. Little did I know the when and how of registering would require a bit more effort.

Non-chalant selfie with the Target scanner. Also, I swear I have a bottom lip.

Mr. C and I decided to embark on our first registering experience on the afternoon of our 5-year dating anniversary and chose Target as our destination. We went in without a definite list of must-haves (or any sort of plan at all), which was a definite fail on our part. We also failed to come up with any sort of color scheme or "theme" for any of the rooms of our future home, which resulted in many a frustrated conversation during our 2-hour registering date. A lot of our conversations went like this...

Me: "Do we need a tea kettle?"

Mr. C: "Do we drink tea?"

Me: "I've always wanted to become a tea drinker! And it's green. I love green. But will it match our future kitchen? Hmm..maybe we don't need a tea kettle. Okay, let's just add it anyway, we could always use it to make hot chocolate. Oh look, a salad spinner!"

Mmm. I love me a man with a scanner.

We also may have had argued over plate colors and the necessity of a waffle-iron. Seriously, you want to know the depth of someones love for you? Just make them search for the barcode on a vacuum cleaner's box...3 times, when you keep changing your mind. This is how I know Mr. C loves me.

After this somewhat disastrous registering experience (in which we left the store with mayyybe 15 items on our registry list) we decided to call it quits for the day. Because we knew we'd have to do this all over again to complete our registries, we decided to approach the next registry adventure with a solid game-plan. A couple months later we were able to complete our Target registry, although finishing up our Bed Bath & Beyond registry is still on our "To-Do" list. *sigh*.

Although registering may not have been the most exciting or fun-filled part of wedding planning thus far, it was one of those wedding to-do's that really grounded me and reminded me that we are for real getting married. No longer just dreaming about cookware sets and bathroom towels, but seriously getting to choose them. For our house. That we will live in together, as a married couple. That realization in itself made the experience one I'll always remember. At the end of the day, there is no one other than Mr. C that I would like to bicker over flatware sets and crockpots with.

Was your registering experience all that you dreamed it would be? Was it something you got done as quickly as possible and/or avoided like the plague?