Wedding Expectations vs. Reality

When M and I first started planning our dream wedding (a couple years ago, let's be honest), we both had some ideas of what the day would look like. While I obviously had more input than he did, he never hesitated to voice his opinion on issues that truly mattered (What kind of cake we would serve, for example. This is serious stuff!). But when it came time to actually start planning our wedding day, we both quickly learned that what we expected the process to look like barely compared to what the day is shaping up to be...

Expectation #1: The Venue

Expectation: Ceremony in our home church, Reception in the church gym
Reality: Both ceremony and reception will take place at one location, Landis Valley Museum

Early-on in wedding planning, after looking at countless venues in Lancaster and getting frustrated over the lack of affordable venues, we decided to hold the whole shindig at our home church. Our pastor would marry us in the sanctuary, and would let us "rent" the gym for the reception. Sure, it may not be the most beautiful wedding, but it would be affordable, and for recent college graduates with thousands of dollars in school loans, affordability trumps beauty. Luckily, this past summer, I was able to find a ceremony + reception venue that is both beautiful AND affordable. I will share more on my venue later, but this was one unexpected change in plans that I was happy to go along with.

Expectation: Reception in church gym (still so lovely, but not my wedding "vision", per say)

Reality: Firehouse wedding! Definitely more my style.

Expectation #1: The Budget

Expectation: No more than $6,000
Reality: Nearing the $10,000 mark

When M and I first got engaged, I swore up and down that we would NOT be spending more than $6,000 on our wedding. When I heard that the nation average for a wedding was $27,000, I was in disbelief. There was no way we would be spending anywhere near that on one day of our lives, no matter how special that day is. When the entire wedding was still being held at our church, the $6,000 budget was still feasible. Now that the wedding is being held at any actual wedding venue, the budget had stretched to $10,000. While I consider this to be a lot of money, I've learned that this amount of money doesn't go too far in the wedding world. I will break down our budget further in an upcoming budget post!

Expectation #3: The Guest List

Expectation: A big shebang for 175 guests
Reality: A more intimate affair for 90(ish) of our closest friends and family

When our venue changed, to did the imagined guest list. Our church would have held almost 200 people comfortably, where our new venue holds 100 at max capacity. This meant that we had to make huge cuts to our guest list, which was definitely not the most easy or fun thing to do. Of course our parents had input on who should be on the guest list, and when their list didn't match ours, tension started to build. We knew in the end, though, that the smaller wedding suited us better, and it meant that we'd have the opportunity to talk to most (if not ALL) of our weddings guests. Smaller amount of guests also meant less money devoted to food, seating, etc. #score

The constant struggle and ultimate reality of having a smaller wedding.

To all the past and current brides...in what areas of your wedding did you have to adjust your expectations to match reality?