Warning: Super picture heavy. and LONG. Too many photos I love, and I didn't want to break it up into more posts. So, sorry about that. Photo credz to the incredible Kristina Ross Photography
After Pastor R's brief message, we asked him to read aloud a wedding reading we had picked several months back. Instead of a traditional Bible verse, both Mr. C and I really loved the poem "The Union" by Roger Fulghum. It perfectly described Mr. C and I's relationship, to a T. Every time I would read it before our wedding, I would get a bit teary-eyed, and hearing it read aloud on our wedding day was no exception. In case you're not familiar, here's the poem...
"The Union" by Roger Fulghum
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance
to this point of commitment.
At some point, you decided to marry.
From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed,
you have been making commitments in an informal way.
All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal,
or during long walks – all those conversations that began with,
"When we're married", and continued with "I will" and "you will" and "we will" –
all those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe" –
and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.
All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.
The symbolic vows that you are about to make
are a way of saying to one another,
"You know all those things that we've promised, and hoped, and dreamed –
well, I meant it all, every word."
Look at one another and remember this moment in time.
Before this moment you have been many things to one another –
acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher,
for you have learned much from one another these past few years.
Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life,
and things between you will never quite be the same.
For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.
After "The Union", it was time for Mr. C and I's vows. Even though I didn't share much of our ceremony planning process, Mr. C and I decided we wanted to write our own private wedding vows, to be shared with each other for the first time on our wedding day. It was so incredibly special to hear Mr. C share these vows with me, in front of all of our families and friends. While we traditional vows certainly would have been wonderful, we knew we had way more we wanted to say to each other, and we wanted to say in in our own words.
Mr. C went first, and as he read his vows to me...automatic water works. I tried to hold it together as much as I could, since I knew I had to say mine next. While listening to Mr. C's vows, I could also hear so much sniffling from our guests. Our entire wedding ceremony was so personal, and so us...and we had so many people tell us how much they enjoyed hearing the vows we had written for each other (even if we fumbled over our words in a few spots!). While we could certainly keep our personal vows "private", I knew from the day we decided to write our own, that I wanted to share them here.
Mr. C's vows to me...
"I have been waiting for this day my whole life, and I am so excited it is finally here. Mrs. Clownfish, the day I met you I didn't think we would be getting married, but as we have both grown, individually and together, I have no doubt that we were meant to be together. You have grown into a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and strong woman. I'm proud to have been on this journey with you, and I look forward to finishing this journey together with my best friend. I can confidently say that I wouldn't be the man I am without you. You are a blessing from God with your constant encouragement, sacrifice, and help. You have had a great impact on my life, and it means the world to me. I love you Mrs. Clownfish, and as a response to that love, I am entering into a covenant with you and Christ today to tell everyone what you mean to me.
Mrs. Clownfish, I vow to love you unconditionally.
I vow to make sacrifices to put your needs and desires above my own.
I vow to honor and respect you.
I vow to guard and protect your heart.
I vow to support you and encourage you.
I vow to be the spiritual leader of our family, and keep Christ as the cornerstone of our relationship.
I vow to cherish you everyday, and to always remind you that you are beautiful.
I vow to love you the very best that I can, forever."
My vows to Mr. C....
"Mr. Clownfish, today and every day...I choose you. I choose you to be my best friend, my husband, and my one true love. When you came into my life 5 years, 9 months, and 17 days ago, I had no idea how much you would mean to me. Little did I know that at the age of 17, the Lord would intersect our paths, and both of our lives would be changed forever. This life we've built together is everything I could have hoped for, and so much more. You are by far the most wonderful blessing that I have ever been given. The love that I have for you in so much more than just a feeling of "inloveness"...it is an unwavering confidence in my choice to love you with all that I am, for the rest of my life. I know that the Lord is rejoicing with us today, and totally fist-pumping at his awesome matching skills. There could be no one more perfect for me than you. You are so kind, so funny, the very best hugger, and your servant heart continues to amaze me. When I am with you, I am the most "me". I feel so incredibly blessed that today, you are choosing me to be your sidekick for life.
Mr. C, I promise to love every part of you, even when you don't love yourself.
I promise in covenant to be a Godly and faithful wife, accepting you as you are, with all your strengths and faults.
I promise to remain yours, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph.
I promise to cherish you, always remembering that you are God's perfect gift for me.
I promise to comfort and encourage you, be open with you, and stay by your side through every season of our lives.
I promise to remind you of God's promises when life gets hard, and to hold your hand every step of the way.
I promise to be spontaneous with you, and yes...I even promise to watch WWE Raw with you every Monday night.
I promise to never stop being so proud to call you mine.
And I promise to bring out the best in you, because you bring out the very best in me.
Mr. C, everything I have is yours. I give myself completely and freely to you. I fully commit myself to you today, knowing that marriage is going to be the greatest, most beautiful adventure we will every embark on together. I love you with all that I am, and I am so excited to finally be your wife"
After vows it was time to exchange our rings! I switched my engagement ring to my right hand, so that Mr. C could more easily slide on my ring. Now Mr. C's ring...that was another story. We had purchased his tungsten wedding band a quarter size too small, since he didn't want it sliding around while wearing it day-to-day. So, when it was time for me to put on his wedding band, it made it to his knuckle and Mr. C had to jam it on the rest of the way himself. And it hasn't come off since!
A few audible "Amens" later, Pastor R said those incredible words we had been waiting years to hear ("By the power vested in me by the state of Pennsylvania, I now pronounce you husband and wife"), and...we were married! As soon as he said that statement, our guests were obviously waiting for us to kiss, since Mr. C and I both paused for several seconds and we heart some laughter from our guests (which explains our reaction in the below right picture).
The joy we both felt in that moment was unparalleled. The ceremony we had been waiting months and years for had passed in what seemed like a moment, and we were MARRIED! Cue the biggest smiles my face has ever known and the most happiness I've ever felt.
Once I met my groom at the altar, it was time to get this show on the road! Pastor R greeted all of our wedding guests, and thanked them for traveling to be present on our wedding day. After the greeting, Pastor R asked my Poppa Clowfish the traditional question of "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" to which he said, "Her mother and I". Both Mr. C and I decided that we wanted my mom to be mentioned in this phrase, as toyed around with language like, "Her mother in spirit and I", among other variations, but I knew that keeping it simple and traditional was the best thing for us, even for those that weren't aware of my mother's passing (like some of Mr. C's distant relatives).
Once Poppa Clownfish took his seat, I grabbed my grooms hand and eventually the nerves wore off. It probably helped that our back was turned to our guests for the first ten minutes or so, and I was trying to focus my hardest on the short message Pastor R was giving. During our premarital counseling we told him that we wanted a short message to be given at the beginning of the ceremony, so that our guests could better understand our own view of marriage. While we certainly had secular elements to our wedding, we wanted to keep the ceremony grounded in our Christian faith.
After Pastor R's brief message, we asked him to read aloud a wedding reading we had picked several months back. Instead of a traditional Bible verse, both Mr. C and I really loved the poem "The Union" by Roger Fulghum. It perfectly described Mr. C and I's relationship, to a T. Every time I would read it before our wedding, I would get a bit teary-eyed, and hearing it read aloud on our wedding day was no exception. In case you're not familiar, here's the poem...
"The Union" by Roger Fulghum
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance
to this point of commitment.
At some point, you decided to marry.
From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed,
you have been making commitments in an informal way.
All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal,
or during long walks – all those conversations that began with,
"When we're married", and continued with "I will" and "you will" and "we will" –
all those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe" –
and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.
All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.
The symbolic vows that you are about to make
are a way of saying to one another,
"You know all those things that we've promised, and hoped, and dreamed –
well, I meant it all, every word."
Look at one another and remember this moment in time.
Before this moment you have been many things to one another –
acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher,
for you have learned much from one another these past few years.
Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life,
and things between you will never quite be the same.
For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.
After "The Union", it was time for Mr. C and I's vows. Even though I didn't share much of our ceremony planning process, Mr. C and I decided we wanted to write our own private wedding vows, to be shared with each other for the first time on our wedding day. It was so incredibly special to hear Mr. C share these vows with me, in front of all of our families and friends. While we traditional vows certainly would have been wonderful, we knew we had way more we wanted to say to each other, and we wanted to say in in our own words.
Mr. C went first, and as he read his vows to me...automatic water works. I tried to hold it together as much as I could, since I knew I had to say mine next. While listening to Mr. C's vows, I could also hear so much sniffling from our guests. Our entire wedding ceremony was so personal, and so us...and we had so many people tell us how much they enjoyed hearing the vows we had written for each other (even if we fumbled over our words in a few spots!). While we could certainly keep our personal vows "private", I knew from the day we decided to write our own, that I wanted to share them here.
Mr. C's vows to me...
"I have been waiting for this day my whole life, and I am so excited it is finally here. Mrs. Clownfish, the day I met you I didn't think we would be getting married, but as we have both grown, individually and together, I have no doubt that we were meant to be together. You have grown into a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and strong woman. I'm proud to have been on this journey with you, and I look forward to finishing this journey together with my best friend. I can confidently say that I wouldn't be the man I am without you. You are a blessing from God with your constant encouragement, sacrifice, and help. You have had a great impact on my life, and it means the world to me. I love you Mrs. Clownfish, and as a response to that love, I am entering into a covenant with you and Christ today to tell everyone what you mean to me.
Mrs. Clownfish, I vow to love you unconditionally.
I vow to make sacrifices to put your needs and desires above my own.
I vow to honor and respect you.
I vow to guard and protect your heart.
I vow to support you and encourage you.
I vow to be the spiritual leader of our family, and keep Christ as the cornerstone of our relationship.
I vow to cherish you everyday, and to always remind you that you are beautiful.
I vow to love you the very best that I can, forever."
My vows to Mr. C....
"Mr. Clownfish, today and every day...I choose you. I choose you to be my best friend, my husband, and my one true love. When you came into my life 5 years, 9 months, and 17 days ago, I had no idea how much you would mean to me. Little did I know that at the age of 17, the Lord would intersect our paths, and both of our lives would be changed forever. This life we've built together is everything I could have hoped for, and so much more. You are by far the most wonderful blessing that I have ever been given. The love that I have for you in so much more than just a feeling of "inloveness"...it is an unwavering confidence in my choice to love you with all that I am, for the rest of my life. I know that the Lord is rejoicing with us today, and totally fist-pumping at his awesome matching skills. There could be no one more perfect for me than you. You are so kind, so funny, the very best hugger, and your servant heart continues to amaze me. When I am with you, I am the most "me". I feel so incredibly blessed that today, you are choosing me to be your sidekick for life.
Mr. C, I promise to love every part of you, even when you don't love yourself.
I promise in covenant to be a Godly and faithful wife, accepting you as you are, with all your strengths and faults.
I promise to remain yours, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph.
I promise to cherish you, always remembering that you are God's perfect gift for me.
I promise to comfort and encourage you, be open with you, and stay by your side through every season of our lives.
I promise to remind you of God's promises when life gets hard, and to hold your hand every step of the way.
I promise to be spontaneous with you, and yes...I even promise to watch WWE Raw with you every Monday night.
I promise to never stop being so proud to call you mine.
And I promise to bring out the best in you, because you bring out the very best in me.
Mr. C, everything I have is yours. I give myself completely and freely to you. I fully commit myself to you today, knowing that marriage is going to be the greatest, most beautiful adventure we will every embark on together. I love you with all that I am, and I am so excited to finally be your wife"
After vows it was time to exchange our rings! I switched my engagement ring to my right hand, so that Mr. C could more easily slide on my ring. Now Mr. C's ring...that was another story. We had purchased his tungsten wedding band a quarter size too small, since he didn't want it sliding around while wearing it day-to-day. So, when it was time for me to put on his wedding band, it made it to his knuckle and Mr. C had to jam it on the rest of the way himself. And it hasn't come off since!
Sporting our new bling, it was time for our Chord of Three Strands ceremony. Instead of doing a unity candle/unity sand ceremony, we decided the Chord of Three Strands was a perfect was for us to still focus on the unity aspect of marriage, while including God in that union with us. While Mr. C held the brass ring holding the three chords, I braided it. Which, well...I sort of wish we had practiced beforehand, because I only started braiding as Pastor C was finishing up his explanation. So I speed-braided, half giggling and half panicking because there was dead silence while I finished this dang braid!
If you're not familiar with the Chord of Three Strands, this ceremony is based on Ecclesiastes 4:12, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A chord of three strands is not quickly broken". The weaving of the three colored strands (gold represents God and His divinity, purple represents the groom, and the white represents the bride) symbolizes the joining of one man and one woman by God into a marriage relationship. And while I could copy a hokey explanation copied from the web, its sufficient to say that this was personally significant for Mr. C and I, in ways that other unity ceremonies are significant for other couples.
After our very quick Chord of Three Strands ceremony was done, Pastor R prayed over us and invited our guests to join him in that prayer...
A few audible "Amens" later, Pastor R said those incredible words we had been waiting years to hear ("By the power vested in me by the state of Pennsylvania, I now pronounce you husband and wife"), and...we were married! As soon as he said that statement, our guests were obviously waiting for us to kiss, since Mr. C and I both paused for several seconds and we heart some laughter from our guests (which explains our reaction in the below right picture).
Several months back, during pre-marital counseling, Pastor R had asked us what we wanted our first act as a married couple to be. For most, it's a kiss. But it really could be several things...taking communion as a couple, praying together, or singing a sing of worship. Well, Mr. C and I decided that we wanted our first act to be a time of private prayer, our first as a married couple.
While we had a very short time of private prayer, we asked our DJ to play "Always Forever", one of our favorite songs from Phil Wickham. It was such a beautiful moment, and one of my favorite parts of our wedding day. As if Mr. C and I hadn't cried enough already...more tears.
After wiping our eyes and composing ourselves it was finally time to kiss!
The joy we both felt in that moment was unparalleled. The ceremony we had been waiting months and years for had passed in what seemed like a moment, and we were MARRIED! Cue the biggest smiles my face has ever known and the most happiness I've ever felt.
And that was our ceremony! We were husband and wife, my best friend in the world was sporting a shiny new ring on his finger, and it was time to party! But first, I'll share our reception space decor and some of our family photos!
